If you are convinced that things are bad, you will notice many unpleasant things and unpleasant people. If you are convinced that things are good, you will notice many pleasant things and pleasant people. Understand that every one of us selectively perceives the world around us. We see far too many things every time we step outside the door to focus on all of them. You can get all the supporting evidence you want, regardless of whether you start today determined to think the worst of the world or determined to think the best.
The breeze comes in softly as the sun sets. Chris looks out, and as far as the eye can see stretches the calm blue ocean. In the distance, ships passing miles out from the coast come into view. Chris works at a Florida lighthouse. He knows every inch of the place, exactly how everything works.
Chris came to the lighthouse after serving for more than two decades as a New York City firefighter.
He wasn’t on duty on September 11, 2001, but he raced into lower Manhattan to try to serve. Reaching the Twin Towers after they had collapsed, he found a devastated area that looked like a war zone. The ash and smoke were overwhelming.
It was spooky, Chris says, because there were fire trucks everywhere, but no firemen. Only later did he realize the nature of the devastation suffered by the fire department, including the loss of one of his closest friends.
He mourned, feeling survivor’s guilt and slipping deeper into gloom. Everywhere in the city, even in his home, were reminders of that day. He left the department—not to forget, but to find another way.
Chris and his family decided that a move to Florida was the right thing. Now he takes solace in adjusting to the rhythms of a new work routine, meeting new neighbors, and doing some of the things you can do in Florida that you just can’t farther north, like going kayaking in January.
Researchers who studied people’s level of interest in and attention to strangers found that people who were sad spent 35 percent more time focusing on strangers who looked unhappy than on strangers who looked happy.